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November 6th, 2004

11:50 pm - This is for someone who does know what they want
And when i see you
I really see you upside down
But my brain knows better
It picks you up and turns you around
Turns you around, turns you around
If you feel discouraged
That there's a lack of color here
Please don't worry lover
It's really bursting at the seems
Absorbing everything
The spectrum's a to z
This is fact not fiction
For the first time in years
And all the girls in every girlie magazine
Can't make me feel any less alone
I'm reaching for the phone
To call at 7:03 and on your machine I slur a plea for you to come home
But i know it's too late

I should have given you a reason to stay
Given you a reason to stay
Current Mood: bad, as lovers go
Current Music: death cab for cutie

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November 5th, 2004

12:45 am - im so upset
I heard there was a secret chord
that David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this :
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrough ya
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
But love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
There was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do ya
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Well, maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
It's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Current Mood: severly depressed
Current Music: jeff buckley

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October 25th, 2004

12:39 pm - a decade under the influence
Well I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this
to hell with you and all your friends
I'm coming over but it never was enough
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
Current Mood: uber-tired
Current Music: classical

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October 21st, 2004

10:05 am
im a mess. total mess
Current Mood: frantic
Current Music: lover i dont have to love

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October 19th, 2004

04:42 pm - i wrote this a long time ago
I will not go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first.
I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.
I will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.
I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesireable.
i will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortale.
I will not be with a man who's afraid to talk about our future.
I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has alredy rejected me.
I will not date a man who is married.
I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.

a very very long time ago i wrote this list and now more than ever, im reminding myself
Current Music: AFI

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October 13th, 2004

12:34 pm - Hopefully for tomorrow
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

I'm through accepting limits
'Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down

So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: Wicked!

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October 11th, 2004

12:24 pm - you do not need me
Don't hold yourself like that
You'll hurt your knees
I kissed your mouth and back
But that's all I need
Don't build your world around volcanoes melt you down

What I am to you is not real
What I am to you you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea

Don't throw yourself like that
In front of me
I kissed your mouth your back
Is that all you need?
Don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down

What I am to you is not real
What I am to you you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for what I give to you
Is just what i'm going through
This is nothing new
No no just another phase of finding what I really need
Is what makes me bleed
And like a new disease she's still too young to treat
Volcanoes melt me down
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: damien rice love sick melodies

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October 10th, 2004

12:30 am - slowly beginning to understand how i think
i couldnt love you more :.
:: i dont want to start again, i want this to be the end :

And we always seem to need the help
Of someone else
To mend that shelf of
Too many books
Read me your favourite line

Like time, there's always time
On my mind
So pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time
Current Mood: lost
Current Music: birth of the mecca zira

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October 6th, 2004

11:19 am - how amusing
it is better to be alone than in bad company.
nothing more to say.
i've learned my lesson.
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: birth of the mecca zira

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September 29th, 2004

08:56 am - to begin with...
could this be more perfect for me....

Yeah but nobody searches
Nobody cares somehow
When the loving that you’ve wasted
Comes raining from a hapless cloud
And I might stop and look upon your face
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze
See the living that surrounds me
Dissipate in a violet place

Can’t you see what you’ve done to my heart
And soul?
This is a wasteland now

great song, even better album. but i dont have time to write about an emotional subject like that. im worth $72.35. whatever. ready for some romance. au revoir
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: interpol evil

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